Valentine Shmalentine

     It’s nearly Valentine’s day again and many who consider ourselves to be either too evolved or intellectual to take it seriously can easily become, respectively, convinced that:

a) it's nonsense to let the calendar tell us when to express love and celebrate its life-affirming, world-changing, healing and transformative qualities and/or
b) it’s all just another commercialist plot to divest us of our senses and money, through advertising, guilt and coupley, adult peer-pressure.

If you’re single, you will probably not fail to notice that you are suddenly surrounded by ecstatically embroiled couples, heart-shaped balloons, teddy bears, flowers and other peoples’ exciting dinner plans. You might also notice that, suddenly, another year has passed when, despite the fact that you decided, almost precisely this time last year, that next year, i.e. NOW, you would absolutely have sorted the ‘situation’ out and be relishing the joys of true, deep and meaningful intimacy and long-term loved-upness, you’re somehow still alone again in February.

At some point in the year, despite your best intentions, perhaps you were thwarted by your shyness, your true feelings about intimacy and commitment, your apathy, lethargy or obsessive workaholism ...or your fears and limiting beliefs about love and relationships. Or perhaps it was your rebellious insistence, during those blessed moments of sweet, unimpeded solitude, that you absolutely adore your own company too much to ever have to ‘put up with’ anyone else’s for an unspecified (and therefore, possibly endless) volume of time. Their expectations, habits and desire to evaluate, analyse, dissect and wallow in every aspect of one-to-one coupley minutiae. Why would you choose this when there’s a world of responsible, self-determined, globally-aware, short-term acquaintances and fellow, evolved beings with whom we can share uncomplicated and inspired conversations and be on our merry way again in a matter of minutes, days or weeks? Each of these blessed encounters leaving us with the feeling of having truly touched someone’s life, yet not ever challenging us to venture into the depths of our ability to grow with another person or to embrace our soul’s deeper longing for something more substantial than the next lovingly and cheerfully offered Goethe quote.

Once again, I am not preaching from some higher plane, friends, I too am in the thick of it! It’s all good! It’s, surely, very evolved to learn to love and to enjoy spending time with the person who has the biggest influence over the direction and quality of your life...you. It’s also very much evolved to be able to relate to someone in that deeper, more intimate sense. It’s very evolved to understand that we are all one and that every offering of love which brings light to another, even for an instant, ultimately brings light to all and does far more for our evolution than we may, as yet, realise. It’s also very evolved NOT to do this, or even be aware of such principles, but to simply be at peace with everything we do.

It’s evolved to decide that you’re not happy about the way things are in your love-life and to come up with a plan for making changes. There comes a time for action, a time to heal and a time to move on from the past. There also comes a time to be honest about whether you feel truly ready to be in a relationship or whether you’re ‘just not that into it’ at the moment. Then perhaps there’s the opportunity to live happily with your current choice instead of pretending to yourself that you long to be with someone while continually self-sabotaging by seeking out a succession of unavailables and fellow commitment- phobics. Even the fear can be healed when we at least begin to acknowledge it. Evolution is love; love is evolution, and love heals all: therefore, love all of your choices. They are all evolved. Living is evolving, loving is evolving, breathing is evolving, the very nature of what it means to be evolving...is evolving, even now. Do not even believe what is written here. When tomorrow comes...it and I will have evolved beyond this truth and be seeking some new concept.

There is also an evolved alternative to all of this, and to the usual scurry for personal validation through hastily constructed mass-marketed plastic gifts and generic, seasonal sentiments. It is to simply become aware that there is a wonderful energy which gathers in the ethers whenever we all, en-masse, turn our thoughts towards love: It’s an energy that can be utilised by all who wish to embrace it, grow it and send it out to add vigour to that bright possibility in which we become the most universally loving people, society or world we possibly can.

The next time you come across a large, red or pink heart in a florist’s window, imagine it growing, glowing and reaching out to cover and encapsulate the entire world. Imagine Angels carrying hearts of all shapes, sizes and colours to parts of the world in which the populations truly have good reason to believe that they are without love and that the rest of the world has abandoned them. Send out thoughts of love to all those who have truly been used or betrayed. Send love to all those who feel truly unable to forgive. Send anonymous flowers to someone who might feel lonely, whether you know them intimately or not and whether or not you have ‘designs’ on them.

If you’re part of a couple, stay in love whatever happens. This can be a testing time!! I’ve seen many a wonderful pairing fall into confusion and disarray for just one day in the year, as disgruntled partners, with very high expectations, suddenly begin to rely on the day’s offerings as a marker of the depth and veracity of the other’s love. Forget about it! Detach from the expectation. Be kind to yourself. Communicate with each other, heart to heart and, if necessary, say what you’d like. Do something different. Do something beautiful and loving for someone you don’t even know, so that whatever happens, you will spread more love and still feel full of love. If you’re single and are able to spend the evening feeling at peace, you will be truly loving yourself. You’re not out trawling clubs and bars in drunken desperation. You are stepping off the wheel to enrich and acknowledge yourself and to, perhaps, become more aware of your truer, deeper desires and motivations.

And as for the soulful singles and deeply divining daters, we are the lucky ones this year. We can take our time. The air is positively charged with the energy of transformation and global evolution. This means that the chances of connecting with a true soul mate or twin flame are much amplified by the compelling call to alignment which is carried to us, even now, on the blessed winds of change. We know that something is coming, something big and when it does we will be free and ready to give it our undivided attention. We know how to play and to explore and enjoy this loving feeling in all its aspects. We know that there is a time and a season for everything under the sun.
This is the time to be still and know that love is, indeed, on the way now. We also know that when it does arrive, this one life-changing romance is not the be all and end all, or indeed, even an end unto itself. Love is a journey which has no beginning and no end and our loving nature continues to radiate out into the ALL, long after we have said goodnight or heard “I’ll call you.” We know that in a sense, this is just another day, and just such another opportunity to love.

We have heart, soul, dignity, compounding consciousness of all that we contain. We have magical presence, and the attractive, irresistible drawing power that comes from quiet, yet unbridled courage, endlessly faithful anticipation of good things and a deep, inner knowing that ‘groove is in the heart’ and that when the lover is truly ready, the true beloved will, indeed, appear.
There is nothing to prove and no one to tussle with except yourself so spend the evening celebrating the fact that you still know how to love and that somewhere, someone very precious is waiting for you, looking out for you. Someone very precious who will relish the true, spectacular wonder of and the magic in you that makes you choose to wait ...for someone very precious.
Namaste, lovers, ALL

Please post your favourite love songs here.... hehe