Scorpio Blog (11/9/11): "I AM"...Authentic! AM I?

Scorpio,

we are still in the first house focusing on issues of the ego and the “I am” energies.

Continuing to explore who “I am”… I have been introspectively evaluating the concept of authenticity and what it means to me in my own life. Specifically, the truthfulness of ME…my attributions, my commitments, my beliefs, my intentions.

To stand in my own truth and not be swayed by others energies and opinions.

To be my AUTHENTIC self….with confidence!

Authenticity has always been one of those words that stopped me in my tracks, to pause and ponder. It’s such a rich and loaded word.

So…Why do we have such a hard time being ourselves and following our own path? Why do we have such a difficult time following our truth and listening to our own guidance?

For reasons which I am still looking deeply into, I have spent my life listening to everyone BUT myself, always looking for guidance OUTSIDE of myself. I have a history of making “good” decisions. Or re-phreased, I make safe choices. My decisions were my own choices, BUT in truth they were based on which opinion from someone else that felt best to me.

According to Wikipedia, Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, despite these pressures….

In philosophy, the conscious self is seen as coming to terms with being in a material world and with encountering external forces, pressures and influences which are very different from, and other than, itself.

Ahh, the conscious self shows up again as a critical component in our spiritually driven equation….this time as we talk about Authenticity. Consciousness is our relationship between our mind and the world with which it interacts. It implies presence, in the here and now.

So, to even begin to peel back the layers of the onion, to really understand Authenticity deep within…we must understand on a deep and fundamental level what it means to be present and conscious.

One of my “learning disabilities” is that I have spent much of my life basing my actions on external pressures—the pressure to fit in... emotionally, socially, intellectually, academically, professionally. To deviate from my HEARTSOUL in order to be a certain kind of person, to adopt a particular way of living, in order to be accepted and in-line with what I thought was popular and accepted.

In the past, I was not fully conscious of my authenticity, and did not understand my own reasons for acting. I disregarded critical essential details and factors in my life, in order to avoid uncomfortable truths.

I feared the reality.

Authenticity has so much to do with our relationship with God Universe. It’s not simply what we do or our positions on certain issues. The Soul Sister of Authenticity is…creativity. We are here in this life to create. To give back to the Universe that which we were given. To create “whatever” based on our God- given talents.

Whether your plan is to create through your gift as a peace artist, a soul guardian, social architect, action engineer or healer analyst… in order to REAL-ize your greatest potential, you must- SHOW UP… as the real YOU. Not the person that you think others want to see, not the person who makes choices that are reactive to our fears (worthiness, rejection, etc).

What does it mean to find our authentic self? Who am I meant to be? Am I developing myself to reach my greatest potential? You have likely heard these questions asked of other and perhaps you have asked them of yourself. And I would venture to say that is you have asked these questions, you will agree that the answers and doing what it takes to “find” out authentic selves is not straightforward or simple.

What I do know is that to live an authentic life, in accordance with ME and the Truth of my SOUL…requires re-programming my hard drive, to undo programmed habits, thought patterns, and ways of living.

The external world, society, has established the policies and procedures by which we unconsciously and consciously govern our life. How we dress, what car we drive, the neighborhood we live in, our pursuit for higher learning, etc. The way we live, the way we parent our children, our choice in employment… are governed for so many by our culture rather than our heart soul.

What I truly understand very deeply is that it is time for me to own up to the character and being that I was born to be. It’s time for me to claim my authentic self. It’s time to open up the infinite possibilities of living life to allow for my fullest potential. And the only way I can do this is to seek validation from...MYSELF.

MY opinion of MYSELF is based on MY opinion of ME. I define my happiness and success; this is not something that should be delegated to Society to define for me.

Authenticity...it's up to me, and its based on ME...because "I AM" and "I SAID SO"!!! Because I'm proud and blessed to be...ME!!!

And you should be, too.

Have a blessed week, Beautiful Souls!

Mara:)

Tags: 1st, AM, I, authenticity, confidence, creativity, ego, house, love, self, More…truth

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Comment by Winged Light Carrier on November 10, 2011 at 11:22pm: Darn I missed the beer meet, but I had a car just like that one and I love it!!!

Comment by Mara on November 10, 2011 at 9:41pm: Cheers! This beer 'aint bad!!!

This is the loaner that the delaership gave me while my heartcar is in repair...

Lisa, Still flippin the peace sign!

Comment by Lana Wauters on November 10, 2011 at 9:20pm: Loving this. Cheers! :)

Comment by Mara on November 10, 2011 at 9:18pm: Tori, Lisa, Tammy and Dalva~ grab a chair and meet Lana and I for a cold one. We are watching (cable) cars and airplanes...

Comment by Mara on November 10, 2011 at 8:02pm: Oh Lana, first time I've smiled all day. This process is something else. WTF! What's that saying, if the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of leaving... Well, what about the pain of BEING!!!??? I wasn't looking for a shortcut, but I guess I just wasn't expecting this. I hit a wall, and I guess it is what it is. Omg, I feel like burying the pain. I feel like my ego is totally taken over.

Love it that you reminded me about my heart car. Yep, it's broke down or broken. I either need a mechanic or a body shop to fix this one, Sister! And a miracle. Those damn blind spots!!!

The last month has been a roller coaster. Hopefully this large scale breakdown will lead way to a large scale magnificent breakthrough. What I do know, is that I am really excited to get past this rough patch, and have that feeling of warmth in the sun... You know what I mean? Perhaps the sagitarius energy will bring that. Hate to sound disloyal to my race, but My cup overfloweth with Scorpio emotional intensity (and not the kind in Davids poems!)... I've had about enough already! I'm all for rebirth and transformation... But come on, give this sista a break already!!!!!

So, I've got a couple of fold up chairs in the trunk. let's watch the cars drive by. and the airplanes in the sky.

Thank you for reaching out and reminding me that im not alone... And it really isn't so lonely after all. It's just perspective.

Xoxo,
Mara:)

Comment by Lana Wauters on November 10, 2011 at 6:49pm: Mara,

Oh sweet lady. *hugs* and *hugs* and more *hugs* to you.

Soul learning seems to be such a painful process so much of the time. I'm with you in the breakthru/down cycles and sometimes the ups and downs can be so overwhelming that I know that I lose sight of why I'm continuing at all. It sounds like you're going through the same thing.

I don't know if it helps or not but YOU'RE NOT ALONE! We're on this ride together...and if your little heart car has a breakdown, well...there are a bunch of mechanics around to help. Then again, I've got a six pack of cheap beer...maybe we can sit by the side of the road and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all? :)

Love you,

Lana

Comment by Mara on November 10, 2011 at 1:02pm: Tori and Tammy~ With Love (and Tears!), I thank you. I really do. It's special that we are together at this juncture of (our) process. The Eagle's journey is a challeging, yet rewarding journey.

With love and light and heartfelt emotion,

Mara:)

Comment by Winged Light Carrier on November 10, 2011 at 12:45pm: I would also like to add that this is the path for most Scorpio Scorpio's...lol, at least the ones who aspire to realize the Eagle part of their essense.

Comment by Winged Light Carrier on November 10, 2011 at 12:42pm: As I am reading your very real and very open comments my dear Mara, it reminds me so much of my own joureny. It was scary and wonderful all at the same time. I am honored and consider myself very blessed that I get to walk this path with you. You are facing your shadows and it is beautiufl. Keep it up and don't worry in the least what others may think.

This is your personal reality but it also a testiment to many here and I for one am with you all the way to your discovery.

I support you and I send love and light on your journey. Thanks for not giving up and keep flowing.

In perfect love and light,

Winged.

Comment by Mara on November 10, 2011 at 12:00pm: After i left that last comment, the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" started playing from my playlist on my page. For what it's worth, im not giving up. to live life and be the truly authentic ME with confiedence will remain a dream and an intention i will continue to lightcast. to live life inside of my mission statement to give back to the Universe that which was given to me....and that is, the real true authentic version of who "I AM". i wont give up and its going to take a lot of constitution, patience, love and determination...but as the sweet melody says, "I think to myself what a wonderful world" and "somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly"... and so shall I.

http://soulgarden.me/video/somewhere-over-the-rainbow-2