Scorpio Blog (11/2/11): Sacred Spaces

How has the Scorpio energy been treating you?
It's been quite intense and emotional for me, thus far.
Mind games and letting go of attitudes which no longer serve me.
Ready to move out of my mind, get back in my Heart-car and drive back to...
PEACE!

As we continue to focus on 1st house issues (ego, our bodies and personality), the moon is moving into Aquarius (what is best for the group), but it is also hitting our 4th House which for us is about home, family and foundation.

It’s about nesting and resting, Scorpio!
To look at how our ego manifests in the home.
This is an opportunity to look at how YOU bring sacredness into your world...
and invite the energy of Divine into the daily life.

Among my fondest memories is when I reflect back on the different places I have called home. The dorm room, my first apartment with/without a roommate, the first house I rented with/ without a roommate, moving in with my Fiancé to his home, buying our first home together, and several years later building a new home together.

Each of these living situations represented a particular place in my life. This physical space was a reflection of my present moment and of a transition into my future, based on my expectations and where I saw my future headed.

There was one central theme with each move: I identified with each space. A creative palate, representing a new opportunity to express myself and to create a space with which I could vibe.

My home has always been a sacred space for me, fostered with the "I AM" energy to enable me to discover and honor ME, a sacred space to replenish and recharge myself.

One of the happiest times of my life was after I graduated college and started my first “real job”. It was my transition from dependant to self-supporting. My responsibilities consisted of me, Beau (my dog) and Gus (my cat). My little family... And we were on our own. So, one of the first things I did was to find a house of my own to rent.

I found a small house in mid-town, near the parks, jogging trails, shopping, eating and nightlife. The house was all white, inside and out. It had hardwood floors and was clean. It had no bells and whistles, not even a dishwasher or a shrub or flowerbed in the front landscaping. And it was perfect. A clean palate from which I could begin to cultivate the feeling and energy of MY space.

The landlord had multiple properties and it was his design to keep everything a primer white- inside and out, and minimal- to- no landscaping in his attempt to reduce the upkeep and maintenance. And I suppose for rental properties this was a good strategy. Easy to turn-over when one renter moved out and prepare for the next tenant. Ironically, white is the feng shui color of purity, innocence, and new possibillities... and can be regarded as a color of completion, ultimate wisdom and assimilation of all life lessons.

And this stark white rental house...this was my home. I saw this as my nest. As my place of solidarity, a clubhouse for me, myself and I (and Beau and Gus). The white color truly respresented my new beginnings, as well as clear endings.

So...One of the first things I did was to start painting the walls. I didn’t care about my deposit or the specifics of the contract. I went to Pier One and found awesome shades for the bare windows that perfectly complimented the colors I had found for the walls. It was really so fun selecting everything for my home. Despite the constraints of my budget at the time, it was my space and it reflected ME. 

I dug flowerbeds in the bare front yard and bought 10 boxwoods to line the front of the house. I planted flats of mums in the fall, pansies in the winter, petunias in the spring and begonias in the summer. I hung my wreaths on the door with each season and made sure my welcome mat was, well, positioned to welcome. To wipe my feet, to wipe Beau’s paws.

My dog Beau had so much energy as a young terrier puppy, and I quickly realized that he just needed to run, and let his spirit free. And in the process, I realized how free it felt for me to run. Beau became my jogging partner, and before long we were training for marathons together. My relationship with that dog deserves another platform entirely. I digress.

But it was in that home that I kicked off my ME-rriage and discovered sides of my SOUL. It would be nearly 10 years later when I would pick back up where I left off in that house, to continue the journey of discovering who “I AM”.

When it was time for me to move on from that home, the landlord painted a new coat of white primer over my beautiful colored walls. I removed my shades from the windows and took them with me. And I took my shrubs! Yep, the landlord didn’t want them. So, I dug them up- each one of them and moved them into my next home. And when I moved again a few years later, I took my shrubs with me. This time i moved my 10 boxwoods and planted them in the home of what would become my husband. And 8 years later, the boxwoods remain in that soil. We have since sold that home, and they are still growing.

I have always had such a connection with my dwelling spaces. They truly are reflections of ME. With age and wisdom, I watch how my dwelling spaces evolve and grow as I evolve and grow. As I find the pieces of who “I AM”, my dwelling space reflects this journey.

This December will be the 2nd Anniversary in the home I am living. My husband and I found this house only a few days after they poured the foundation. And I was able to select nearly every color, material, fiber.

We built this house with the expectation of a future. Expanding our family, growing our family. And yet, in the back of my mind I was searching for that family. I still held out hope that I would be able to find "it" and make everything okay. But my HEART was whispering to me, and deep down I knew something wasn’t right.

The energy of the place we were living before wasn’t in alignment with who I was and with the vibrations I wanted. I felt like in moving to this new community that I had found an environment with which I was aligned.

I now see with clarity, that moving to an environment that I felt like I resonated with, that it helped me position myself to be able to start making the necessary changes in my personal life. It's all in hindsight and looking back I absolutely am convinced that GOD Universe had his plan. He led me to a place that would foster my ME-rriage, the journey to find ME, and figure out what it meant to LOVE me.

So when we moved into our brand new home, we were excited for our new start. We found a community that we could relate to and that was supportive to raising a family. Hike / bike trails, lakes and ponds, modern conveniences, good schools, etc.

I had a new palate, my home, to begin expressing myself. And I was truly enjoying myself and my life in this new environment. I trained for another marathon. i was reconnecting with activities that brought me peace. I started to feel that happiness that i was missing. And that was when I began to realize that something just wasn’t right.

My environment was aligned.... and while I felt myself closer to alignment, I was still so disconnected and OUT of alignment. It was my relationship. But I wasn’t ready yet to accept it.

So I did what I love the most, I nurtured my dwelling space. I put my heart into my home and the foundation. It was the one place where my heart felt comfortable expressing love and where I felt accepted. Weird it probably sounds.

But in looking back, my self esteem, worth and confidence was like a dripping faucet, slowly the energy and spirit was leaking. But I still had my fallback... the foundation and physicality of my home.

I was living in my mind and in my ego, and my home satisfied my ego.

Not in a boastful or showy way, but in an external comforting way. I felt safe in my home. I felt peace. I felt nurtured. I felt love in my home. The colors were satisfying to my eyes, the materials felt good to touch. It satisfied my 5 senses. It satisfied my exterior world in many ways.

And the irony or duality or whatever you want to call it... it was the walls of my home where I searched for solace. They say home is where the heart is… and in my unconscious way of life, that was true. Somewhere in the physicality of my home, was my heart.

Just 16 months after my husband and I moved our life to this house to begin a new chapter, this would be the house that helped us to separate.

When he left, I immediately felt the love that I had poured into the walls, returning love back to me. I felt safe and secure and supported in this home. I felt like my home became my personal sanctuary for healing. I never felt sad or uncomfortable, as if the energy had been negatively impacted now that he was gone from this space. I never felt that empty feeling, like something was missing in the home... the tension was gone, and energy was peaceful.

I felt like the walls of my home embraced and received me, with arms wide open. This was my tree house. This was my clubhouse. My home was ready to receive me…So that I could return to myself. A supportive environment that would facilitate the search for my soul, provide the quite stillness that I required to discover what it means to listen to my heart and follow it.

In a way that is difficult to capture into words, my house became a spiritual hospital for healing. My home gave back to me in ways that I cannot express. Working in the yard, walking my dog around the lake, listening to music, discovering Soulgarden, reading books, praying, meditating, crying, and laughing…and to begin learning what it meant to love truly, deeply- without expectation or condition.

It was my clubhouse where I could retreat from the world and it supported me to find my balance and harmony in my world. It's as if i could hear the walls speak to me, affirming that: "All is Well in your world, Mara".


And during this process, I came to understand the meaning of “your home is where your heart is”. As I found myself and really started to understand what it meant to go inside, I realized that my home is really inside of me. It’s not my walls or anything on the exterior where I will find peace. My peace is within my heart, and this is home now.

And the beauty of it all was that my physical home, the exterior dwelling space that I cultivated in an expression of who "I AM"… the SOUL purpose of this space is to facilitate the connection and relationship with my inner home, my HEART.

And so I leave you with this message. Make your home a reflection of YOU. In the first house of who “I AM” on the inside (your heart soul) and who “I AM” on the outside (your physical, body)… look at the space you have designed and cultivated. The space that you hang your hat. The space that you lay your head to rest. The place you park your HEART car.

Have you designed your clubhouse to foster your retreat from the world? Does your space support the relationship of your heart soul? Does your space encourage stillness and peace for mediation and listening to your heart? Or is it a distracting you from being able to connect with who YOU are, your inner-home, the HEARTSoul within your physical body?

Ask yourself whether your home is in vibrational alignment with who YOU are and who YOU want to BE? It’s not about materiality. It’s about spirituality. Is your home a spiritual retreat? If not, look at what you can do to help your space help you.

Light a candle, introduce essential oils, bring in colors and textures that you resonate with, and make sure that the objects that you surround yourself with have special meaning to you. Get rid of the "stuff" and allow more space to appreciate these special objects.

Put your love and spirit into your dwelling space, so that you have a spiritual tree house that you can retreat to when you need to reconnect, to be still, to rest, to rejoice… to support your path to peace. Our inner- home is where the heart is, and our physical homes can be a conduit to facilitate and light the path back to our Hearts.

Your home can and should be a powerful, gentle and sacred environment with doors wide open for the Divine presence.

The only true security lies deep within; in the deep peace each of us can feel by connecting to our divine source and experiencing who "WE ARE", our true identity.

Do the objects by which you are surrounded bring you energy? Are the materials of these objects from nature and do they bring a high quality of energy into your space to promote subtle, but powerful changes in your life?

Cultivate the energy YOU desire, by creating your space so that it will soothe your mind. Spread healing vibrations throughout your home by allowing the flow of energy in your home, to fill your subconscious with the light of ever-expanding possibilities and a bright new future.



With so much LOVE to LIGHT your path home,
Mara:)