A Year in Love – Occupy Valentine’s Day

Today is February 14^th.   

Valentine’s Day. 

That dreaded or blessed day of the year, depending upon your point of view, where the desperate anticipation of LOVE makes the very air pregnant with radiant happiness overlaid with the bitter tinge of false hopes and fickle dreams.

Thanks to the marketing hype that begins on December 26^th by putting out stacks and stacks of Valentine’s Day candy surrounded by enormous heart-shaped boxes, continues on with ‘Every Kiss Begins with Kay’ or ‘Buy Your Sweet Heart a Lexus’ commercials during every break, no wonder we despise this specific holiday with a vengeance that borders on the apoplectic.

I mean seriously?  A car?  Please respond to this post if ANYONE has bought or received a car for V-Day because I want to shake your hand.  (end rant#1)

If you’re single, you tend to dread this day and lament your state of non-couple-hood.  Your lack of love hovers like a little black cloud over you all day, raining sorrow down.

If you’re married, at least you have someone, but you still might dread it as hope for what gift you’ll give/receive gets so out of proportion that you or your partner could never meet them even if the entirety of Fort Knox was at disposal.  Or, maybe you’re on the flip side, where you tell your partner what you want, even give them a list, and they still give you candy and flowers.  Okay, I’m not discounting what they choose to offer, but if you’ve known your partner for more than 2 years, the traditional gifts are a cop-out in my opinion, unless if that’s what you asked for.  (end rant#2)

Well I Say Enough!  We need to Occupy Valentine’s Day!  Transform it.  Change it.  Make it our own personal celebration for ourselves and NOT what Madison Avenue believes and tells us we want!  

Please understand, I’m not faulting those that want to participate in the traditional ways.  If that’s how they want to express their love that’s great, go for it.  I’m just saying those of us that are tired of this force-fed mentality need to take a stand and make a change for our betterment.

I'm not saying we should kill Cupid!  

Just turn his arrow of Love on ourselves. 

My son dubbed it “Singles Appreciation Day” which is pretty good, but I’m going one step further. 

“Self Appreciation Day”

The new mantra for Valentine’s Day will be “Love YourSelf” and everyone will be responsible for their own Valentine’s Day gift. 

If you want 5 dozen roses, then go buy that for yourSelf. 

If you want a Movado watch, then buy that for yourSelf. 

If you want a pair of 2ct diamond stud earrings or a bottle of Chanel No. 5, then buy that for yourSelf. 

If you want a Lexus, then by all means, if you can afford it, buy that Lexus. 

Or a massage.  

Or a trip to a warm sunny beach. 

Whatever you would tell your partner you want, that’s what you’d buy for yourself.  Take personal responsibility for your happiness by buying that gift for yourSelf. 

Silently, subtly, masked by all the materialism, everyone will learn to be responsible for giving/receiving Love to themSelves so much so that eventually, the bitter tinge of false hopes and fickle dreams will vanish underneath the inner glow of loving yourSelf. 

A couple of years ago, I bought myself a Fossil watch for Valentine’s Day.  Ahead of the day, I took several trips to the Fossil store, to gaze at all the choices and decide which style I preferred.  On Valentine’s Day, I walked into the store and bought the watch.  I remember a huge feeling of self worth and satisfaction in the moment: that I loved myself enough to purchase something that I wanted and not feel guilty about it.

Personally, I’m in a pretty good place this year, despite my recent divorce.  I am liberated by the fact that I don’t have any expectations to fulfill nor ones that demand to be filled by anyone, other than myself.  I’ll give my kids a small chocolate treat and express my love for them, more so than on any other day.  Other than that, I’m giving myself what I want for Valentine’s Day.  A steak dinner.  A chocolate cake.  Maybe I’ll buy some flowers.

Occupy Valentine’s Day.

Occupy Self Appreciation Day.

Occupy Love YourSelf Day.

And watch what happens inside of you when you Occupy Your Heart.